You live, you learn. In your 20’s, there are a lot of mistakes to be made, and lessons to be learned, also – and maybe especially – when you travel! I’ll tell you about four of my (mis)adventures, and some of the ways they shaped the way I travel now.

a place to crash

In my early twenties-single-days, I wanted to see if I could handle going abroad alone. As a somewhat insecure, introverted person, this was how I tried to challenge myself. On my first trip, I was traveling across Portugal, using public transportation. I was headed to the beautiful city of Evora, and expected to arrive at nightfall. I was on a very tight budget, and slept in hostels. I didn’t have any reservations. I have no idea why, I think I thought I could wing it, which was a bit stupid, since it was a very well-loved destination, and in the high season. It was in the early internet era (yes, I’m old), so no easy apps or access to information online. I heard from one of my fellow tourists on the train that they had called the hostel, and it was fully booked. And upon arrival, a stroll around the town made it very clear that every budget friendly place was full. Insert small panic attack – I already saw myself sleeping on a bench, surrounded by curious Portuguese drifters…  Fortunately, I met two nice Italian girls who had the same problem. We stuck together and booked a room at a much too fancy hotel just outside the town, so we could split the cost. What did this teach me?

Be an adventurer, but don’t come unprepared, especially when arriving at night. Make a reservation, if only for the first night. Nowadays it’s easy, for instance on https://www.stayokay.com/en, https://www.airbnb.com/, or https://www.booking.com/

Travelling solo makes it so easy to come in contact with other people, especially when you are staying in hostels. You’d be surprised how many other guys and girls are up to sharing a meal or going on a day trip together. Sometimes a little group forms, to be travel buddies for an afternoon, or a day or two. Because sometimes when you see something amazing, it’s nice to share that with another person.

In my experience people are also ok with it if you want some alone time, or don’t want to socialize.

Making contact with fellow travelers isn’t only fun, but can also be useful, to exchange information about cool places to visit, or for example share a cab.  

Especially if you travel alone, writing in your journal can be a way on reflecting on what you have seen and done. Since I was 9 or 10 years old, I have loved documenting everything in a journal, especially when I am on an adventure. That way I can relive it when I come back home (and remember the small stuff I wouldn’t otherwise remember).

If you want to make it easier to come into contact with people at a hostel, campground, or…anywhere, bring an item to break the ice (a musical instrument, a frisbee)

creepy guy alert

The trip to Portugal was so much fun, I decided to go again the next year, this time the destination was Italy. Roughly the same concept: trains and hostels. Once, in Rome, I had just checked in to a –kinda seedy- hostel near the main railway station. I was putting my stuff in the girls’ dormitory, it was deserted, the other guests were away for the day. Then suddenly the guy from reception came into the room, and asked me to go out with him for a drink. No, thank you. “Some ice-cream?”  No. I didn’t like ice cream? No, go away man. This went on for a while, him thinking of various foods and drinks that I might want to share with him. I kept saying “no, I don’t want to go out with you”. Then he shrugged and went away.

Ok, I’m going to give a free bit of advice for the Don Juans out there. First of all: asking someone out is all well and good, but take NO for an answer. And second: if you want to ask a girl out, don’t do it in a place that’s deserted, while sort of standing in the doorway – that’s insanely creepy! I’m glad he just went away in the end, but this was potentially a dangerous situation.

I’m actually happy with the way I reacted: a firm but polite “no thank you” and when he went on, I kept repeating my NO, like a broken record. No coy smiles, no excuses. If you really don’t like the way someone handles a situation, you don’t owe them any niceties.

Trust your gut feeling.

speak your mind

I once had a friend who had just been dumped by her boyfriend, and she asked me to take his place on a trip they had already booked. Of course, I wanted to support my friend, and yes, I needed a vacation too. So, there we went, my heartbroken friend and me, off to Thailand and Laos. Because it was so last minute, I hadn’t saved up for it, and she lent me the money. The thing was, that the trip felt like it was HER vacation from A to Z. Everything was already carefully planned. My friend was a bit of a control freak to begin with, but those tendencies became a lot stronger because she was so sad. And at that time, I hadn’t yet learned how to tell others what I wanted in a friendly but firm way. The fact that she was paying for everything (although, I was going to pay it all back) might have made it even more difficult for me to say: “I know you had planned to do X, but I don’t want to, I want to go to Y”. It felt like I was tagging along, in a rhythm that wasn’t mine (being on the go almost constantly), with some activities that I wouldn’t have chosen, myself. Of course, this ended in tears and a big fight, when I got so fed up, I exploded.

Think about what you want out of a trip, and communicate! Do your own research and talk about what you want, what they want, and what you both want. I was lazy to think: well, she has it all figured out, I’ll just go with the flow.

When travelling together, also don’t forget to discuss the basics in advance – even if you have travelled together before. (In advance is easier than when you’re already there) Don’t assume, use your words, things might be different this time. Does your friend want to sleep in (sometimes), or get up early? Do you want to splurge, or take it easy? Party till sunrise, or in bed with a good thriller by 9PM?   

You don’t have to do everything together. At home I’m also someone who really values her time alone, so why would that be different when I’m on a trip (even more so because all of the impressions!) I know not everyone has that need, so if you need time for yourself, communicate it and plan it: it won’t magically happen!

a first world problem

When me and my love were together for just a short time, working our first real jobs, I decided it was time to go on our first vacation together. Money was a bit tight, but we decided to book a week in the Algarve region of Portugal, in a decent but not very luxurious hotel. We arrived, the sky was blue, the sea was nice and warm… There were no real supermarkets nearby (only small expensive ones for tourists), so the only option was to have lunch and dinner in one of the many restaurants on the boulevard. We tried to stuff ourselves in the mornings at breakfast, but breakfast in this hotel was pretty simple. In a couple of days, our bank account was starting to look a bit empty. We needed all the money that was left to pay for food. Swimming in the pool and the sea, going for walks in the little town (where there wasn’t a lot to see except for the shops) and reading our books was fine – but we couldn’t help but feel a bit deprived, since all the cool excursions, water sports activities and nicer restaurants were a no go.

If you have to go very low budget, make sure you go somewhere with some free activities (just google “free activities <insert your destination>”) or at least a good (train) connection to other places.

Staying a bit closer to home and having enough money left to actually do stuff, can actually be a good idea in some cases! There is a good chance that there beautiful and/or interesting places you haven’t even considered, a relatively short drive/train ride away! Look at a map of your country through the eyes of a traveler; what hidden gems wouldn’t you want to miss?

Book an apartment instead of a hotel room, so you can cook at least some meals yourself, and maybe enjoy the sunset with some drinks and appetizers on your own balcony. (This works well if there is a “normal” supermarket nearby –ask the locals where they do their shopping! Or you could use Uber to go to a cheap supermarket outside of town and buy in bulk!) 

So, these were some of the things travel in my 20s has taught me – there are probably many more that I didn’t think of. What have you learned over time? Be sure to comment below. Follow our adventures on Monthly Escapes, subscribe to our Youtube channel and like us throughout our other social media channels (@MonthlyEscapes). Every Month my husband, daughter and I travel. We make it a point to visit new places and gain new experiences. We want to inspire and help you take your own Monnthly Escapes!